- Delivering Truth Around the World
Custom Search

Humor: From a DC airport ticket agent- a must read!

Mikaelah Cordeo

Smaller Font Larger Font RSS 2.0

March 10, 2014

------ Forwarded Message

From: Mikaelah Cordeo

This DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble:

This is  priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small  indication of how much  trouble our country is in.


I don't know if these are true or not, but they'd be sort of  funny if anyone else had done it or just as jokes.   



If you've ever had any second thoughts about those who make  laws in this country and those who work for them  then these little  snippets will forever ingrain in your memory bank that we elect dumb  candidates who in turn hire dumb staffers.    Names are  included so it has to be true or the author would be fired when the  elected official called.

1.  I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman  (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so  that

her  hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the  window. (On an airplane!)


2.  I got a call from a Kansas  Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke),  who wanted


        to go to Capetown. I started to explain the  length of the flight and the passport  information,


and  then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to  make you look stupid,


but  Capetown is in Massachusetts....''  

Without trying to make him look stupid,  I calmly explained,


''Cape  Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa  ''

his response -- click.


3.  A senior Vermont Congressman  (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida  package


       we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation  in Orlando. He said he was expecting  an


       ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not  possible, since Orlando is in the

middle of the  state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I  looked on the map and Florida is a very thin  state!'' (OMG)


4.  I got a  call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who  asked, ''Is it possible to see England from  Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She  said, ''But they look so close on the map.''  (OMG, again!)


5.  An aide  for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once  called and asked if he could rent a car  in Dallas.


I  pulled up the reservation and noticed he had  only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked

him why he


wanted  to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a  big airport, and we will need a car to drive  between


gates  to save time.'' (Aghhhh)


6.   An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky)   called last week. She needed to know how  it


was  possible that her flight from Detroit left at  8:30 a.m, and got to Chicago at 8:33  a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an  hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't  understand


   the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her  the plane went fast, and she bought that.  

7.  A New York lawmaker,  (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines  put your physical description


on  your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to  whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He  replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the  airline, they put a tag on my  luggage


that  said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's  very rude!''

After putting him on hold  for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was  dying laughing). I came back


and  explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT  - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline  was


just  putting a destination tag on his luggage.  


8.  A Senator John Kerry  aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a  trip package to Hawaii.


After  going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would  it be cheaper to fly to California


and  then take the train to Hawaii?''

9.  I just got off the phone with a  freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright  from  Ala who asked,


''How  do I know which plane to get on?''

I  asked him what exactly he meant, to which he  replied, ''I was told my flight number is  823,


but  none of these planes have that number on them.''  


10.  Senator Dianne  Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to  Pepsi-Cola, Florida.


Do  I have to get on one of those little computer  planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to  Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She  said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''


11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator called and  had a question about the documents she  needed in  order to fly to China. After a lengthy  discussion about passports, I reminded her that  she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to  China many times and never had to have one of  those.''

I double checked and sure  enough, her stay required a visa. When I told  her this she said,

''Look,  I've been to China four times and every time  they have accepted my American  Express!''

12. A New Jersey  Congressman (John Adler) called to make  reservations, ''I want to go from

Chicago  to Rhino, New York.''

I was at a loss for  words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's  the name of the town?''

'Yes, what  flights do you have?'' replied the  man.

After some searching, I came back  with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every  airport code in  the country and can't find a rhino  anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh,  don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.  Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of  the state of New York and finally offered, ''You  don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply?  ''Whatever! I knew it was a big  animal.''

Now you know why the Government  is in the shape that it's in!


Could anyone be this DUMB?  







I don't  write it, I just offer it for your  consideration.


Like  manure, you just gotta spread it  around.


----- Original Message -----
From: ms
Sent: Monday, March 10, 2014 11:41 PM
Subject: Humor: From a DC airport ticket agent- a must read!