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nOV. 3, 2013

David M. Adam, Jr.



TEL.#1 703-2431999




Subject: THERE IS ALWAYS TRUTH IN JEST.................



 "The  Affordable Boat Act"


The U.S.   government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act"   declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014. These   "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does   not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees,   fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair   costs.


This law has been   passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible   people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every   American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is   "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the   year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage   fees.


In order to make   sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will   increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay   more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain.   But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat   will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their   parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then they must purchase their   own boat.


If you already   have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't   want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse   to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you   purchase one or face imprisonment.


Failure to use the   boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner   cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness,   experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using   your boat.


A government   review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or   stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and   for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride   your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use   their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or   if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and   more expensive boat.

Those that can   afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will   also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will   result in fines and possible imprisonment. 


Government   officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their   families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers   and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.   


If   the government can force you to buy health care,   

they can force you to   buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..'s that   stupid...