CHAPTER 7

APRIL 25, 1991

ACCESSING GOD/ATON WITHIN TO SUCCESSFULLY ACHIEVE GUIDANCE FOR COSMIC WISDOM, BALANCE AND TRUTH

Greetings precious chelas. WE are Sananda, Lord Michael and St. Germain. We come in the service of the LIGHT of Our Most Radiant ONE, and thus to you, our brethren. We give honor to Druthea for receiving this message in behalf of GOD WITHIN ALL. Let us begin.

We, of the HOSTS of God, within HIS Cosmic Council are most pleased to present an opportunity of self-understanding this day. Druthea’s “counterpart” has given permission (albeit somewhat reluctantly) to allow herself and her life to be shared as it relates to a current life “circumstance” which she has before herself to face and make decisions about and which she has found to be most difficult and uncomfortable. Now, one reason we have asked her to share this circumstance is because it is one which many of you ones can “relate” to in your similar day-to-day challenges. The other reason is that SHE has asked for GOD within to guide her actions and decisions that she may act with balanced “integrity” and honor toward self and GOD. We would like to outline the circumstance, her guidance, her decisions and where all of this has brought her awareness to. Now you might say that we are “Feeding two birds with ONE worm” (a more loving cliché, don’t you think?) in that by walking you ones through a process of creative unfoldment towards personal responsibility and understanding, you will have an example to assist your understanding as you begin YOUR OWN accessing abilities within you.

Now the reason Druthea’s counterpart is somewhat reluctant to show her circumstance as example is that she perceives herself and her “personal life” to be very private, and she is one who deals with and solves her own “problems” without “talking” about them with, but one or two most trusted human “others”. MANY of you feel the same way. It is because parts of the process of the unfolding of this circumstance are most painful and frightening to her and she doesn’t want anyone to know that she feels most vulnerable that therefore she might be JUDGED in some way lesser or unworthy. Our point is that YOU ALL have had and still do have your moments when the circumstances set before you seem quite like insurmountable mountains of impossibility, or they feel like unfair amounts of burden that you are not “prepared” for. There are two items I will share and suggest for you ones before we “tell the story”. First, remember that YOU create EVERY circumstance that is set before you. They are OPPORTUNITIES for you to exercise RESPONSIBILITY in your spiritual creative unfoldment and to also bring forth into the light the “demons” from the dark corners of your own minds. God does not give you more than you agree to “handle”. Secondly, while we tell the story, call forth your GOD-self within to walk in the shoes of Druthea’s counterpart, who we will call Drew, that you may experience WITH her, in UNITY of understanding the process of CONSCIOUS SELF-DISCOVERY.

We will begin now by explaining that this beloved child of God experienced a relatively happy and somewhat adventurous childhood until she reached the age of eleven-years. She was quite active, curious, independent and one who loved nature, animals and creatures of most all kinds. She had two younger sisters whom she often avoided in that she preferred to play and be alone or with certain friends of her choosing. Her mother stayed at home and was quite the loner herself, spending most of her time reading and doing household chores. Her father traveled frequently for his business, but was generally home on weekends. They moved frequently while she was very young but then settled for several years in a small, quiet, lower middle-class community.

When she was eleven-years of age, her parents announced to all of the girls that they were going to get a DIVORCE. This is the time when many severe emotional, psychological and physical challenges were most abruptly put before little Drew and her family. Her mother maintained custody and within a period of roughly eighteen months Drew’s father applied for and received a transfer completely out of the United States, was remarried to a much younger woman and had started a “new” family. Meanwhile within that same period, Drew’s mother sold their once “happy” home, moved to an apartment in a new and bigger town and her mother began working for the first time in her life. Within three-years of the divorce, her mother had developed a severe alcohol problem and sought the “company” of many men, most of whom she met in bars. Their “quality” of life fell considerably and little Drew who was now fourteen-years-old began for the first time to lose interest in school, which prior to this time she enjoyed and achieved above average ability. She sought the company of “older” friends and began her own self-destructive pattern of behavior. Their father visited quite infrequently and mostly he would write letters and occasionally call. As you are beginning to see, the consequences of feelings of extreme rejection by mother and all three children became most destructive.

We would like to add herein that both of Drew’s parents were “only” children. Both came from divorced households. Drew’s mother is a most fragile and highly creative soul. She had a domineering alcoholic mother and she found it very difficult to integrate within this “harsh” world. Drew’s father is a man who is a master at hiding from his feelings and running from his responsibilities. He has grown more in understanding his responsibilities but is generally quite consciously unaware and ignorant of the emotional turmoil to his “first” family caused by his actions early in his marriage and thereafter.

When Drew was barely fifteen-years of age, she met and fell “in love” with a much older man than she. When she came home 30 minutes late one night from a date with this one, her mother, who was drunk and with a man, told her that she would have to leave if she would not adhere to the curfew rules. So Drew left and the next day while her mother was at work she went and gathered her belongings and “moved in” with her boyfriend and his mother.

Now we will move forward in time. Drew eventually broke-up with this one and had several boyfriends after, but managed to still attend and graduate from high school six months before her class. She worked at various jobs, took care of herself and spent several years occasionally dating, but mostly alone. Then she met a most special, loving and generous man who would later become her husband. She began, with his love, allowance and support, her “healing” and “forgiveness” process. She saw very little of either of her parents. But she did remain in contact with one of her sisters. Finally after over five years of no contact with either parent she agreed to come to her sister’s wedding where her father and his family were invited. Shortly thereafter she and her sister went to visit their mother who now lived in another state with her own step-mother and worked as a bookkeeper.

Drew and her sister were most distressed to witness the deterioration of their once beautiful mother. She had been diagnosed as having emphysema from years of heavy cigarette smoking and high blood pressure. Although she was only 47-years-old, her hair had gone completely grey. She was perhaps 50-60 pounds overweight, and found it most difficult to walk even a few steps without stopping to try and “breathe”.

Now this visit was over four-years-ago. Since that time her mother has deteriorated to the point that she now must use oxygen nearly all the time. For Drew and her sisters, there had been acceptance and understanding, but no real urge to do anything other than maintain contact by phone or letter and visit when they felt they could.

It is interesting to note that in spite of the apparent adversity of their “growing up” situation, two of the three daughters have found for themselves relative happiness, secure marriages, and financial independence. The third and youngest daughter now lives on welfare, is separated from her husband, and has three children to care for.

Now begins the current challenge for Drew. Three weeks ago or thereabouts, Drew called her mother to chat. Well she (her mother) was quite depressed because of her physical deterioration and was afraid that she may not be able to work much longer. Also, she felt uncomfortable around her step-mother who seemed to view Drew’s mother and her condition with much inconvenience to her “life-style” as a swinging single grandmother. Well, Drew has not ever been able to really speak openly about her feelings to her mother. So after listening to her mother, they hung up.

After much pondering and asking GOD for assistance, Drew decided to discuss her concerns about her mother first with her sisters. Her middle sister said outright that she was not willing to take care of their mother in any physical capacity, but she would contribute financially if necessary. The youngest one, of course, had not the resources to do either. So Drew decided to discuss with her husband the possibility of bringing her mother to their town, getting her an apartment (so all maintained privacy) and someone to care for her. Her husband most generously agreed to help in this way. All is well so far.

Now Drew is guided by GOD within to write her mother a letter and express her feelings. Drew agreed and asked God’s assistance because she truly wished to express her feelings of forgiveness, understanding and compassion to her mother and wanted it be as she requested, “The way YOU would speak to her Father God/Aton”. Well she wrote a most wondrous letter expressing her knowledge of the Power of God within, her feelings of love and forgiveness toward her mother, her knowledge about dis-ease and how she could offer help if her mother wished to heal herself. Lastly in the letter she told her mother that she is welcome to come and live close by and that she would be cared for by and be closer to her three daughters and grandchildren. With much concern that the letter would be received by her mother with the same understanding and love that she hoped was projected, she sent it off.

For over two weeks, Drew wondered how her mother would respond to the letter, and hoped that she (her mother) would not make it another reason to flagellate herself. Finally after nearly three weeks, Drew received a response from her mother in the mail. With great anticipation...she opened the letter. The first line read. “I apologize for not responding sooner to your MARVELOUS letter.” Drew breathed a sigh of relief (after first mis-reading the word “marvelous” as “malicious”.) As she continued reading she was filled with JOY for finally being able to communicate her feelings and have her mother respond in kind. At the end of the letter her mother said, “Your generous offer of a home, a stepping stone on the troubled waters of my life is...Well I can’t begin to find words to describe my gratitude to you, all of you. I really don’t want to be a burden...ruin marriages or cause heart ache to anyone in my family. Your offer does make me feel safer and better and I would like to be closer to all of you so I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it...In the meantime please know how much I appreciate your incredible offer, your forgiving nature is a real tribute to your strong character. I am very proud of you and love you very much. Love, Mother.”

Well, I can see that we have a variety of responses from you readers. I will tell you what Drew’s response was. Relief mixed with feelings of “oh gee, I could actually become responsible for her care!” You see, she wrote the letter to her mother exactly the way GOD WITHIN guided her to do so. She was actually quite emotionally detached and removed from the letter she wrote. At the time she TRUSTED God that it was the right and responsible action to take. Now she finds herself somewhat in a quandary about whether or not she “can handle” the responsibility. She knows that what she now must do is TRUST the outcome of this situation to happen according to the WILL of GOD whose will she entrusted this decision with in the first place. She carefully explored as many options as she could think of and with God’s guidance she decided that FOR HER MOTHER the decision to offer her assistance and a place close by was the best one.

What you ones must keep in mind is that WHEN you put YOUR WILL into GOD’S WILL, your life proceeds along on the path of BALANCE and INTEGRITY. It is only your “altered” ego consciousness that questions, worries, fears and feels “burdened” beyond desire or capability. The POINT is that it is NOW up to her MOTHER as to what SHE will decide to do. The whole reason that GOD WITHIN suggested Drew write the letter was so Drew could RELEASE and OFFER FORGIVENESS which she had truly felt only had been unable to “verbalize” before.

You ones can only imagine what it was like for Drew’s mother to receive that letter from her daughter. Her “guilt” was so extreme for her perceived heinous “errors” that she could not live with herself, thus the slow and painful self-destruction of her body...and her life. Well GOD’s forgiving hand was present within that letter and HE spoke to HER spirit, and the RELEASE was incredible to watch in that dear beloved being. Will she choose to heal and live on here? That is between her and God. Just know that when you offer the sincere hand of forgiveness, and it is accepted that the release works for both the forgiver and the forgiven. Even if the forgiveness is not accepted, the forgiver is always released by the power of GOD, The SPIRIT OF LIFE WITHIN. We will request that, for those of you within this circle, Drew offer a copy of this letter she wrote with the hand of God, to each of you who request it. You ones who read this letter will note that there is NO BLAME placed against the mother. You ones must really learn to LET GO of your crippling attachments to the destructive emotions of resentment, hatred, self-criticism, fear and blame. We are speaking to you ALL within this circle and ALL others who read this document. Drew has been most frightened of this writing/sharing and has resisted letting go of it publicly, so we know and SHE now knows that it is exactly what she must do. We venture to say that there is NOT ONE of you who will read this document who won’t have a “memory” stirred of similar circumstance and a NEED for understanding of a lesson (or two) with subsequent forgiveness and release of blame and of emotional attachment to it.

Druthea, precious beloved chela, you have been most courageous and we have seen your tremendous growth beyond your self-centered, self-perceived limitation of emotional protective shield. It is a most blessed JOY to witness this blossoming and to share this with your brethren. She finds it most difficult to accept this honor publicly... She feels as though she is in “group” therapy! GOD KNOWS that she once again KNOWS and FEELS THE POWER of HIS LOVE WITHIN HER...it has been a long, difficult journey, chela, to overcome this self-challenge. Are you ready for the next? (She laughs).

Now for you ones reading and sharing. Are YOU ready to overcome your emotional attachments of the “altered” ego Adversary? Are you ready to BE responsible for YOUR lessons and NOT CONTINUE to BLAME ANOTHER for PAST DEEDS which YOU created and also allowed to cause you pain? ARE YOU WILLING TO STOP choosing to sabotage yourself by continually re-creating and/or re-living the circumstance because YOU have been unwilling to LEARN the lesson and RELEASE IT? What memories have been stirred, chelas? Are there emotional feelings or detached observation? We suggest you each commune with OUR Father WITHIN and perhaps, you will find it beneficial to WRITE down your feelings to yourself and to those whom you perceived have caused you “pain”. For many simply being able to verbalize your feelings completely without interruption is most therapeutic even if you do not send the letter to anyone. Are you ready for freedom from your emotional crutches? Are YOU ready to HEAL THE INNER CHILD and TRUST GOD’S WILL AND BECOME COMMITTED IN HIS SERVICE ONLY? MAY THE POWER OF GOD WITHIN EACH OF YOU BE ALLOWED FULFILLMENT IN HONOR TO SELF IN TRUTH AND BALANCE THAT YOU EACH FIND THE TRUE FREEDOM OF INNER PEACE AND JOY WHICH IS GOD’S WILL AND THUS, ONCE AND FOR ALL, FILL THE “VOID” OF ILLUSION OF SEPARATION...FOR WE ARE ALL ONE! SO BE IT AND AMEN.

Now we hope that you ones choose to see this opportunity by example for healthy change within. THIS inner “therapy” must not be made into an excuse to wallow around in self-pity and self-flagellation for past “errors”. You must ask God’s direction, DO what HE advises, and MOVE ON. Consider this a sort of “psychic” surgery which leaves NO scars. You are learning to ACCESS consciously, the POWER WITHIN OF GOD’S assistance removing what does not BELONG to the SPIRIT OF LIFE OF GODLINESS. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.

We leave the decision about where to place this document and whether or not it will be shared outside this circle in the “hands” of our beloved brother, Commander Hatonn and his capable assistants. Druthea has given permission to share where it is “needed”. “Drew”, of course, wants to be like the “ostrich” and hide her head in a hole. Precious one, you can hide your head but the rest of you is still well exposed! Why not instead stand tall with your beautiful head above ground attached to your body in wholeness so that you are available for others to share in the gifts of tremendous LIGHT of GOD which you carry within! So be it.

Before we close, we wish to give honor and tribute to one, Kathleen Brook who recently made her transition from this plane. She was a beloved friend of many years, to Druthea and her husband. On the yesterday they received a beautiful card with her picture in the front, a memorial from a friend of hers. It read, “Dear Friend, I thought you might want a remembrance of Kathleen. Her words are very special and she would want to share them with you. Sincerely, E.H. Kathleen’s Gentleman Who Loves Her Very Much!” Within the card are two beauteous quotes from this special and perceptive one, Kathleen, which we will share herein:

“Problems are opportunities to stir up God’s gifts within us. A vehicle to draft forth our innatepotential into action.”

“Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership and brotherhood with all men and women of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure.”—Kathleen Brook.

Kathleen was 43-years-old at her passing. She was a beautiful, gentle soul who experienced and overcame much emotional heartache. Druthea remembers her as one who all she ever really wanted was a man in her life who LOVED her unconditionally and without restrictions to her spiritual growth and independence. Druthea regrets that she had not spoken to Kathleen for some months and did not know she had a friend, E.H, “A gentleman who loves her very much!” No regrets, chela, for it is true that Kathleen finally received the love that she so deserved, yet denied for herself for much of her life. Kathleen is greatly loved by many upon your place and she will be missed by those of you who remain. She is WITH GOD, chelas, for she was of purity in spirit. Thank you MR. E.H. for loving her as she so deserved!

With gratitude and appreciation to ALL of you, precious ones, we move to stand by. We are your HOSTS of GOD, Sananda, Lord Michael and St. Germain. We come from within the Cosmic Council of GOD OF LIGHT, ATON, to bring you, THE FAITHFUL AND TRUE, HOME TO GOD’S KINGDOMS. We humbly await your decision. Know that WE LOVE YOU GREATLY and BEYOND WORDS TO DESCRIBE. You need only ASK GOD, DESIRE TRUTH, WISDOM AND BALANCE AND TO SERVE ONLY WITHIN HIS WILL AND IT IS GIVEN! With “time”, with the use of your own logic and reason, EACH of YOU WILL KNOW AND LIVE THIS TRUTH! SO BE IT! Salu.

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